


Lean on me a little

by MiracleLover002



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Needs a Hug, Akaashi Keiji-centric, Gen, How Do I Tag, Light Angst, Mentioned Akaashi's parents, Mentioned Kaori Suzumeda, Mentioned Kuroo Tetsurou, Not Beta Read, Overthinking, Panic Attacks, Protective Bokuto Koutarou, Worried Bokuto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiracleLover002/pseuds/MiracleLover002
Summary: "I hate it when I'm like this..." Akaashi said, biting his lower lip in frustration. "Everything is going haywire. I hate these bad days.""Whenever I lose my cool, you always have my back. You're always..." he thought of what to say to express what he meant. "YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE, YOU KNOW?" he exclaimed with a big gesture. "So," Bokuto continued, looking straight into Akaashi's eyes with uncanny confidence, "when you're feeling down, lean on me a little" he finished.ORAkaashi is having a really bad day, but his best friend is there to cheer him up!
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	Lean on me a little

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfiction I've ever written, so please don't judge me too harshly!  
> Warnings: Panic attacks are mentioned so if these are triggering, don't read it :3
> 
> P.S. I know this is devilishly big, but I didn't know how else to express it :3

Akaashi was a calculated individual. He always did everything with a calculated amount of emotion. Every word he wrote on his English tests, every set he tossed, every little thing he did was all a result of his meticulous planning. He kept every one of his emotions in check, he was always in control. He liked doing things his way, that was how it had always been. 

But Akaashi too, had bad days. It started out with a weight on his chest as he woke up, which slowly started spreading to his arms, his legs, his head and slowly engulfed his entire body. He didn't know why, or how it started, but it did. On bad days like these, Akaashi stayed at home. Because this feeling weighing down on him was something Akaashi could not control.

However, this time, it seemed like fate didn't want him to have his way. He had a very important test at school that day and no matter how much he tried to push it back, the weight just kept clawing at his body. In the end, his voice of reason won the battle - between his grades and his mood swings, it was obvious which was more important. Akaashi thought of going straight to class that day, instead of morning practice, but he knew Bokuto-san would come looking for him during break and bombard him with a thousand questions.

It was best to just get practice over with as easily as possible.

\---X---

The entire team noticed that something was up with their otherwise collected setter. It wasn't like he was doing anything wrong, he was playing as he always did, maybe a little less enthusiastically. Now you see, Akaashi was described as apathetic by most people who met him for the first time and didn't take the time to get to know him. However, when he was playing with his team, his eyes seemed to light up. It was quite refreshing to watch, really. But today, even though he made no mistakes, the usual gleam was missing from his eyes, replaced with a tired look. 

"Akaashi, you feeling alright?" Washio asked him casually in passing.

The team knew Akaashi well enough to know that he didn't like drawing too much of attention to himself.

"I'm quite alright." Akaashi replied with the same monotonous tone that he always had on.

This was the third time one of his teammates had come up to ask him the same question. Akaashi didn't understand why. Was he doing something wrong? He was doing everything in the exact same way he had always done. He had been setting his balls perfectly. Maybe with a little less accuracy than most other days, but the spikers didn't seem to have too much trouble with that.

In his defense, Akaashi was mostly functioning on auto-pilot so he didn't really know what was going on. He couldn't think because his brain was too foggy, whether it was because of the countless thoughts that kept rushing through his head, or if it was because of the deadweight that seemed to have taken over his entire existence, he did not know. And he honestly could not muster up the strength to think about it. Washio nodded before continuing on his way. This was what he didn't like about his bad days. People seemed to be able to read him. 

\---X---

Akaashi was not going to admit that he might have fared pretty badly on his test. It wasn't really hard, and Akaashi was a top student, so it was only expected that he would find the questions easy. And he did, he knew all the answers, he had learnt everything that was on the test, he just didn't know how to express it. He had gotten maybe two or three answers right, but the rest of the test was blank to him. What subject had the test even been on? 

"Akaashi, breathe." The voice brought him back to reality. He turned to look at Bokuto-san giving him a weird look, still chewing a piece of the bun he had...when did he get that? More importantly, when did break even start?

"Agaashi..." Bokuto whined and Akaashi focused his vision on his captain feeling strangely...suffocated? When did that start?

"Breathe, dude! Breathe, Akaashi!"

The words slowly sunk into his brain and as soon as he realised what Bokuto was talking about, his eyes immediately widened in realisation and he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"I'm sorry, Bokuto-san." He tried to minimise the damage. "What were you saying?" 

Bokuto huffed, taking another bite of his bread. "Just random things. I was trying to get you to focus."

Akaashi felt guilty. "I'm sorry, Bokuto-san."

Bokuto waved his hand in front of him. "It's fine. Say," Bokuto asked, his eyes sparkling again. "Do you want something to drink from the vending machine? My treat."

Vending...machine? Akaashi mulled over the words again. Ah, he realised, yes, the vending machine had drinks. He was parched. "Yeah, an apple juice sounds good."

Bokuto nodded enthusiastically, still not taking his eyes off of Akaashi. He felt a gentle tug at his hand and realised it was Bokuto-san trying to get him to stand up. He complied. He didn't remember much of what happened afterwards, much like the rest of his day. He vaguely remembered Bokuto-san swinging his huge arm over his shoulders and walking, speaking in a language he couldn't really recognise. He was sure it was the same as his mother tongue, but he couldn't make sense of the words.

When they got to the vending machine, Bokuto-san finally let go of him and bent down to get the drinks. He wordlessly pierced Akaashi's drink for him with the straw and put it into his hands before starting to sip on his own. It took Akaashi about ten seconds to figure out what to do with it and then five more seconds to actually get it done. The cool drink thankfully eased his nerves a little. 

"So, do you want to talk about what's going on?" Bokuto casually questioned, sipping on his drink.

This time, Akaashi heard him clearly the first time. Small victories.

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

Bokuto moved his hands around in an animated way, spilling a lot of juice in the process. "Since morning you've been all like," he made another animated movement before finally settling down to look at his gloomily.

Akaashi's instincts instantly kicked in. That expression, he could recognise that from two miles away. He tried to think of what could have possibly brought it up this time.

"Bokuto-san, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong with me, dummy! You're the one I'm worried about here! You're all gloomy." He finished.

Akaashi realised only then that Bokuto had been trying to imitate Akaashi but his expressions vaguely resembled the ones he had on when he went into his infamous 'emo mode'. God, did he actually look that bad?

"Oi, Akaashi." He looked up to see Bokuto frowning at him. "I'm not very good at these things," he sighed. "But you can talk to if something's bothering you!" he continued eagerly, "I'll always listen!" 

If Akaashi was feeling bad before, he was definitely feeling worse now. He didn't even know how to respond to that. A thousand voices seemed to be screaming in his head, but he didn't know what they were saying. If it wasn't for the frantic way in which he was being shaken, he would've lost it there and then. 

  
"AKAAAAAAAAAAASHIIIIIIIIII!" 

He snapped back to his senses.

"Bokuto-san" he managed. "I don't feel so well. Can we sit down?" 

Bokuto nodded frantically, led him to the back staircase nearest to the vending machine and sat him down.

"Do you need to go to the infirmary?" Bokuto asked him, voice full of worry.

Akaashi wearily looked up to see Bokuto flitting around him like a lost owlet.

"No, I don't need to go to the infirmary, Bokuto-san." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, resting his forehead on his folded hands. "I just...need a minute."

What he said was true. He just needed a moment of peace, and Bokuto flitting around him was definitely not helping.

"Bokuto-san, could you not move around so much?" he asked gently without lifting his head.

"Oh-okay."

The rustling of feet stopped and was almost immediately replaced by a warm hand gently rubbing his back. He unknowingly let out a small sigh and relaxed into the touch, and before he realised it, he was asleep.

\---X---

To say Bokuto was worried would be an understatement.

He mindlessly scrolled through his phone with one hand, the other hand still resting on his now-asleep junior's back. Akaashi was never like this. Bokuto had seen him upset before, when they lost a game, or when he didn't get a desired mark on one of his tests. But today Akaashi wasn't upset; he was just completely out of it.

Bokuto had no idea what to do. He had gone to look for Akaashi five minutes after break started, when the latter failed to show up to their usual meeting spot on time. It sent tiny alarm bells ringing in his head. Akaashi was **NEVER** late.

Bokuto had successfully found him in his classroom staring blankly at his desk. With little to no coaxing, he had managed to get him out of class with his lunchbox in hand and led him to sit somewhere where there was less of a chance of people jostling them. Bokuto knew Akaashi wouldn't have appreciated strangers pushing and pulling at him right then.

Akaashi was usually extremely observant of everything that went on around them but today he was completely unresponsive, so Bokuto decided to be the observant one instead.

Their roles weren't usually like this. Usually it was Bokuto who had severe mood swings and completely lost focus, and more than 90% of the time, it was Akaashi who brought him out of it. How he did it, Bokuto had no clue. Akaashi had never told him and he had never asked.

From the time Bokuto had spent around Akaashi, he had learnt that his friend did not like strangers. He preferred privacy over companionship. Akaashi never let his guard down in front of others. And yet, here he was, sleeping, at school, in front of people he didn't know.

Which is why the current situation upset him even more. Akaashi wasn't just a junior to him, he was his setter, his vice-captain, his partner, his best friend. It hurt to see him like this. He sighed as he gently rubbed Akaashi's back again. That action seemed to have calmed him down before. Bokuto made a mental note of that. A ding from his phone alerted him and he looked down to see a new message from Konoha.

**12:25 pm**  
**_Konoha:_** _Hey, you're with Akaashi now right?_

**12:25 pm**  
_**Bokuto:** Yeah. Why?_

**12:25 pm**  
_**Konoha:** How is he doing?_

**12:26 pm**  
_**Bokuto:** He's asleep._

_**12:26 pm**  
**Konoha:** What the- SERIOUSLY?_

**12:27 pm**  
_**Bokuto:** Yeah. I'll just let him sleep till five minutes before the bell goes off. He seems like he needs it._

**12:27 pm**  
_**Konoha:** Wow. Bokuto you're being a good captain AND a good senior? That's new!_

**12:28 pm**  
_**Bokuto:** HEY I'M ALWAYS A GOOD SENIOR AND A GOOD CAPTAIN! SHUTUP!!!!_

Bokuto turned his phone off with a huff, instead turning his attention to Akaashi who was still asleep, unbothered by the typical lunchtime rush around him. Bokuto felt his heart swell a little as he realised that Akaashi trusted him enough to be able to let his guard down in front of him like that. But that feeling lasted only for a moment, before the worry took over again.

What could have possibly happened for Akaashi to shut down like this? Bokuto frowned hard, his brows knitted together in thought.

It had been barely 20 minutes from when Akaashi dozed off, that he started stirring again. Bokuto looked at him, trying to figure out if he was waking up, or just having a bad dream. It was probably the latter, Bokuto concluded when he heard Akaashi groan a few times in his sleep, fisting his shirt even tighter than he already had.

Bokuto repeated the action from before, gently rubbing between his shoulder blades and then running his hand along his spine like his mother used to do for him when he was sad as a kid. It seemed to work as Akaashi sighed deeply but went back to sleep.

It dawned on Bokuto that Akaashi was a whole year younger than him. It wasn't that Bokuto didn't already know that, but Akaashi was so mature for his age, always being the person Bokuto could lean on for advice or comfort. He told him off often, that was true, but he also always had his back. Bokuto really wanted to return the favour.

He decided that letting Akaashi sleep was probably for the best. Maybe it was lack of sleep that was making him grouchy.

They spent the majority of recess like that. Akaashi asleep, and Bokuto doing various things to keep himself amused while also being careful to not wake the sleeping boy beside him.

When it was ten minutes to the final bell, Bokuto wrapped up Akaashi's lunchbox, lunch untouched (except for that one piece of meat that Bokuto had taken, but that was a minor thing). He gently shook his friend's shoulder in an attempt to wake him up.

"Hey Akaashi, wanna wake up?" The setter showed no signs of having heard him. continuing to sleep peacefully with his head resting on his hands.

"Agaashiiii..." Bokuto whined, a little louder this time. "You'll be late for class if you don't wake up..." He shook his shoulder again and this time, he managed to get a soft whine out of the younger boy.

"Hey hey hey! It's time for class, Akaashi!"

Akaashi gradually turned his head to face Bokuto and slowly cracked an eyelid open, his face scrunched up from the sudden light. "Bokuto-san?" he whispered groggily.

At that moment, Akaashi looked so much like a child that Bokuto would have definitely taken a picture, had it not been for the time.

"Yeah, it's me!" he exclaimed. "Did you sleep well?"

Akaashi lifted his head, frowning in obvious confusion as he looked at his surroundings, and then finally, Bokuto for an answer.

"You said you weren't feeling well." Bokuto supplied, eagerly. "Then you put your head on your hands and fell asleep, like this."

He mimicked the pose Akaashi had been sleeping in, earning him a nudge from the setter. So he was coherent enough to nudge him when he was feeling embarrassed. That was a good sign.

"I didn't really realise..." Akaashi trailed off, looking at the floor.

"It's okay!" Bokuto hurriedly reassured his junior. "You just slept a little. Everyone naps once in a while! Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I suppose so." Akaashi answered as he straightened out his clothes and stood up. He was answering in full coherent sentences now, Bokuto thought. That was a vast improvement from before.

"I'm sorry I couldn't spend break with you properly, Bokuto-san. I'll make it up-"

"AkAAshi." Bokuto frowned at him. Akaashi looked up to meet his eyes. "If you apologise one more time, I will definitely hit you on the head." Bokuto proclaimed with a huff, hands on his hips.

This earned him a small smile from the younger boy. "Got it."

Bokuto smiled, proud of himself for having been able to successfully take care of his friend. He did look like he was feeling better, some of the usual energy having returned to his movements.

"I'll see you after school, Bokuto-san." Akaashi told him as Bokuto dropped him off at his class. Bokuto nodded frantically. "See ya, Akaashi!" He skipped on his way to class, feeling happy and satisfied at Akaashi's response. He'd pick him up after class, Bokuto decided, just in case he blanked out again.

\---X---

Akaashi was beyond frustrated with himself.

Why wouldn't his brain function in the way he wanted it to?

He also couldn't believe he had slept through break, though he couldn't possibly be mad at Bokuto-san for not waking him up because he did feel better after sleeping. Not completely normal again, but a little better than before. At least his head didn't feel like it was stuffed with lead now.

He had three periods to go before school ended for the day. He just hoped to make it through them in the right space of mind. As soon as classes resumed after lunch, however, Akaashi felt that same deadweight creeping into his head again. It was becoming difficult to focus in class and he managed to hold it together long enough for him to have written down one page of notes. Then he started slipping again.

It wasn't a particularly slow process. It was gradual, and it felt like it took ages, but in reality, it happened in a matter of seconds. He just fell into a pit and he couldn't make sense of anything anymore.

He was vaguely aware of being in class, the teacher's mouth moving, a couple of students talking, but it was all blurry. He didn't know what was going on and he didn't feel like finding out. He lost track of time as he watched the teacher leave and another teacher come in. Before he was aware of it, the final bell rang and everyone started shuffling their books and bags and leaving class.

Oh, they are leaving, he thought. Was he supposed to leave too?

He vaguely noticed a familiar boy waving at him from outside his class but he didn't have it in him to respond. So he settled on blankly staring at his books instead.

\---X---

As soon as the last bell rang, Bokuto jumped from his seat eager to go see how Akaashi was doing. He was outside Akaashi's classroom in two minutes and stood there waiting for the crowd to disperse. When he didn't find Akaashi in the crowd, he looked into the classroom to see Akaashi sitting at his usual seat by the window, his notebook and stationery still on his desk. He waved at him trying to catch his attention, only to get absolutely no response.

Well, shit.

"HEY HEY HEY, AKAASHI. YOU READY TO TOSS SOME BALLS TO ME?" He loudly exclaimed, walking up to Akaashi.

The younger boy didn't even lift an eyelash to look at him. Bokuto frowned and drew up a chair to sit in front of him, facing him.

"A-kaa-shiii" he sing-songed, earning him a small look. "Say, Akaashi, do you feel like practising today?" Bokuto pouted, sure that he wouldn't get anything in response.

As he had predicted, Akaashi only turned his head towards the window slowly, as if it took him a lot of effort to perform such a simple action. Bokuto only huffed a little and decided to try once more. Seeing Akaashi like this was seriously unsettling.

"Akaashi," he said in a gentle tone that even he didn't know he was capable of. "Akaashi, I think you should go home and get some rest." That seemed to perk the other boy up.

"H-home?" he stuttered, "Why?"

Bokuto leaned back and folded his arms to squint at him. Did he seriously not realise?

"Well you are obviously not going to practice today in your state. You could get injured."

Akaashi blinked at him in confusion. "Injured?" he thought a little, "huh?" 

Bokuto sighed. "You're kind of out of it today, Akaashi." Bokuto explained, moving his arms around to imitate his brain falling out of his head. "You won't be able to play properly" he finished.

Akaashi just kept looking at him, a confused look on his face. Bokuto doubted that the other boy could understand what he was saying.

"Akaashi, you're not well. You should go home and get some rest." Bokuto repeated, placing his chin on his palms with a pout. "I'm sure coach will be-" 

"N-NO!" Bokuto was taken aback. "I-" Akaashi seemed to be struggling, "I don't wanna go home...just yet..." he trailed off, looking dejected. Bokuto frowned.

"Why don't you want to go home?"

"I..." his voice was softer than Bokuto had ever heard it before. "I don't want...it's too dark..."

It was Bokuto's turn to stare at him in confusion but he decided not to push it. "Okay, but you're not playing today" the captain stated adamantly, hands folded.

Akaashi didn't respond and kept looking at his desk, his face blank. Bokuto decided to take that as an affirmative. He realised that this was probably the first time he was doing something like this for someone else. 

Bokuto was the captain of his team, but Akaashi was the control tower, the person who always took charge. As he proceeded to pack up his junior's belongings in his bag for him, Bokuto marveled at how easily Akaashi seemed to always do these little things.

Once he was sure he hadn't left anything unpacked, Bokuto slung Akaashi's backpack on his shoulder and with his free arm, nudged at the still dazed boy to stand up.

Getting to the gym was pretty easy. Bokuto simply wrapped an arm around the younger's shoulders and pushed him forwards gently along with him, making sure to not speed up his footing too much. There wasn't much point in making small talk, Bokuto decided, and instead chose to focus on what he was going to say to his coach and teammates.

The moment they entered, a hushed silence fell over the gym as all eyes followed the captain and vice-captain, though Bokuto doubted that Akaashi even had any idea about where he was. The coach took one look at Akaashi before telling Kaori to send him home.

At that Akaashi clutched on to Bokuto's blazer slightly, oblivious to the attention that would draw. The action caught both the coach and Bokuto himself by surprise. The captain thankfully sensed his distress and looked over at Konoha to relay a silent message.

Konoha seemed to have grasped the gist of it as he started herding everyone back to practice saying, "Come on, it's time to go running. Get moving boys!" The team slowly dispersed and Akaashi visibly relaxed as the attention slipped from him, but he didn't let go of Bokuto's blazer just yet.

"He doesn't want to go home right now" Bokuto helpfully provided, wrapping an arm around Akaashi's shoulders to keep him grounded.

Coach Yamiji frowned at him. "Well he certainly isn't in any condition to play today. I'll call his parents to come pick him up." 

"They uh..." The coach and Bokuto both looked at Akaashi who seemed to have trouble forming words again. "They have long shifts..." He finally managed to get out.

The coach looked at his always calm vice-captain's crumbling form and noticed his always fidgety fingers were still, tightly grasping Bokuto's blazer. Bokuto had on a look similar to the one Akaashi sported whenever Bokuto got upset. He smiled fondly at how easily these two had exchanged roles without even realising it themselves.

He sighed heavily. "Well, it can't be helped then" he declared.

Bokuto looked at him in surprise, raising an eyebrow.

"Bokuto, take Akaashi home and stay with him until his parents return. I'll phone them and let them know." Bokuto's eyes widened. "But what about practice?"

The coach waved his hand. "I'll let you off today as long as you put in double the work tomorrow." Bokuto nodded enthusiastically. He was always up for extra practice.

"I'm depending on you to get him home safely, Bokuto," the Coach whispered softly so that only Bokuto would hear him. "Yessir!" Bokuto responded, beaming with pride. It felt like he had been entrusted with an extremely important task.

\---X---

Thankfully, Bokuto had been over to Akaashi's house enough number of times to find his way there without any help. He was beyond glad that they only had to make one bus ride to get there, as Akaashi looked like he was about to pass out any second.

Bokuto wouldn't admit it, but he was afraid. He wasn't used to playing the role of a caretaker. He looked at the boy seated beside him. His eyes were tired and glassed over as if he were looking at everything yet nothing. His fingers were uncharacteristically still against his pants, where they rested. His entire form looked, sort of, smaller. Like he was about to disappear. Bokuto didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit. He tried to loosen him up a little.

"Hey, hey, hey Akaashi. Should we get popsicles on our way home?" Bokuto eagerly asked him.

There was no response, no sign that he had even heard him. The captain sighed and leaned back in his seat trying to figure out what to do with him. What did Akaashi do when Bokuto got into one his moods? Bokuto frowned.

Akaashi always cheered him up somehow, now that he thought about it. He just made everything so much easier for Bokuto. Bokuto didn't really know how to return the favour now that the tables had turned. He thought for a long time, and finally decided to start out slow by asking him small questions and trying to get him to talk. 

"Hey, Akaashi. Why did you say you didn't want to go home?" 

Akaashi blinked his eyes once. "I..." he trailed off. Bokuto waited patiently like an obedient child, for him to try and speak again. "It's dark..." he whispered.

Bokuto was sure there was more to that story, but he decided to let it go, instead, settling on asking him a bunch of yes or no questions.

In truth, Akaashi just didn't want to go home.

His home was all dark, and lonely. His parents were usually always home on his bad days, but they both had long shifts that day and he knew that they wouldn't be home until late at night. It was not that he was afraid of the dark, even in the slightest. He just hated being in the dark on his bad days. It always made him overthink everything even more than usual and his brain seemed to short circuit and it made everything go haywire. Not that it hadn't already short circuited.

Akaashi was sure someone had fried his brain. He vaguely knew that he was overthinking this as usual, but he also couldn't bring himself to stop. It was a strange feeling. He didn't feel like he was completely in his head as he still was vaguely aware of his surroundings, but he also couldn't figure out where he was so that caused him to panic a little. But as soon as the panic started to build up, there was a strong arm around his shoulder and a hand stopping his own fingers from ripping each other out. He didn't have the coherent sense to identify who it was, but he felt a safe presence beside him. He relaxed slowly.

A while later he realised he was being gently led towards the front of the bus. "Akaashi, mind the steps," a voice beside him murmured. Steps...stairs...he opened his eyes enough to look down at the steps of the bus and was thankfully able to descend without an accident.

"Hey hey hey Akaashi. Are you sort of awake now?"

Akaashi had a bit of energy left, which he used to turn his head to face the voice. It was Bokuto-san.

"Wha...?"

Why was Bokuto-san here? Why was he here? Where were they? What had happened at school? What about practice? A thousand questions seemed to rush through his mind at once, and that familiar dreaded weight started to take over again. He could hear Bokuto whining his name before he was pulled back under the cloud, again. 

\---X---

It seemed to Bokuto that he could identify the fog that slowly covered his junior's brain again. He had been conscious when he descended the steps on the bus and for a while after that too, before his eyes became glassy again. Bokuto sighed. He led the dazed boy down the familiar steps to his house and retrieved the key from Akaashi's backpack. Akaashi had shown him where he kept his keys, in case of an 'emergency', but Bokuto doubted that even Akaashi would have expected an emergency like this.

His house was the exact same way that he remembered. Some cozy furniture, a fridge with enough food stocked for one day, a little unorganised bookcase. Akaashi's household just had enough of everything. Not too extravagant, not too shabby, just enough to call it home. He smiled as he helped Akaashi take off his shoes and socks and led him into the living room, recounting the happy memories they had made here in the last two years. 

After making sure the boy was safely seated on the couch, Bokuto ventured into the kitchen to get them both some water. The water seemed to do a lot of good to the setter's mind. In fact, after he had finished his glass of water, he looked at Bokuto without being prompted and inquired, "Bokuto-san?"

Bokuto felt his heart swell with joy as he gaily approached the younger boy. "Hey hey hey, Akaashi ma boy!" he grinned. "Are you back?"

Akaashi seemed a little confused. "Back?" he questioned, his eyebrows knitted into a frown as he tried to think about what Bokuto was saying.

"No no!" Bokuto was quick to jump the gun and stop him from overthinking again. "I meant, are you feeling well enough to speak again?" Akaashi sheepishly looked down at his empty glass.

"I'm really s-"

"Aagaaashii" Bokuto scolded. "Stop apologising about things you can't control." 

Bokuto had meant it in an entirely harmless way and though Akaashi knew this, his brain didn't. The last four words seemed to act like some sort of a trigger for Akaashi's brain. Bokuto could see the signs as Akaashi began to panic. He quickly set his glass down and went over to sit beside his friend and rubbed his hand on his back in an attempt to calm him down. However, it was futile as Akaashi seemed to have worked himself up into a full-blown panic attack.

"Bokuto-san I-" his eyes widened, "I can't breathe-" he managed as he continued to gasp for air.

Bokuto was swift in his movements this time. He had no idea how to stop a panic attack or even what it looked like, but the only thing on his mind was that he had to make his junior feel better. He swiftly removed Akaashi's blazer and loosened his tie to give him some space to breathe. But that seemed to have little to no effect on Akaashi's erratic breathing.

Bokuto was beginning to feel helpless as he looked at his struggling friend and did the only thing that seemed logical enough to him. He got down in front of him and pulled him into a big hug, with his chin resting on top of Akaashi's head, one hand securely around his back while the other slowly rubbed circles into his back, trying to get him to calm down.

Bokuto was well aware that he himself was panicking now and he hugged the trembling figure in his arms even closer, instinctively. To Bokuto's surprise and relief, Akaashi's breathing gradually began to go back to normal as he clutched the back of Bokuto's shirt tightly. Bokuto did not stop rubbing his hand on his friend's back as he felt the front of his shirt starting to dampen from what he could only presume were tears.

Soon Akaashi's breathing was back to normal but he kept sniffling against Bokuto's shirt, wetting the front with his tears. Bokuto was a little taken aback at first, but he realised that this was probably something the other needed, a necessary outlet of emotions. He gradually moved his hand from his back to the back of his head, gently stroking his hair till he had completely calmed down. 

"I don't..."

Bokuto slowly drew back from Akaashi to take a look at him.

"I hate it when I'm like this..." Akaashi said, biting his lower lip in frustration. "Everything is going haywire. I hate these bad days." he huffed out the last part, his face settling into a pout that earned him a small smile from the captain.

"Oi Akaashi" Bokuto said with confidence as he put his hands on the younger's shoulders.

The setter looked up, his face puffy and small, tears still pooled on his eyelashes. He was a child after all...Bokuto realised.

"Akaashi," he continued, "you don't like it when things get out of control do you?"

Akaashi shifted his focus back to his lap where he was unconsciously fiddling with his fingers again. 

"I don't like it either" the owl-faced captain huffed out. "I don't like it when my spikes keep going everywhere except where I want them to go" he continued, settling down beside Akaashi.

"It's okay, Bokuto-san. You always get back into it anyways."

Bokuto looked at the boy beside him in awe. Even when he was like this, the first thing on his mind was to make sure Bokuto didn't get upset. Then he smiled and continued, "Yeah, I always pick myself back up because I know you're going to have my back."

It was Akaashi's turn to be awestruck. "Bokuto-san..."

"No no no listen!" Bokuto said excitedly. "I'm in the mood to say a lot of things so listen!" 

Akaashi seemed to consider him for a moment, then nodded. Bokuto beamed as he looked at his friend. "Whenever I lose my cool, you always have my back. You're always..." he thought of what to say to express what he meant. "YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE, YOU KNOW?" he exclaimed with a big gesture.

Akaashi tilted his head slightly in confusion.

"So," Bokuto continued, looking straight into Akaashi's eyes with uncanny confidence, "when you're feeling down, lean on me a little" he finished.

Akaashi stared at him for a while and Bokuto was scared that he might have started to feel all dazed again. But to his surprise, after a few moments of silence, he smiled. "Thank you, Bokuto-san" he said softly. Bokuto was elated. He had successfully managed to make his friend feel somewhat better again!

"So, Akaaashii, why don't you go take a bath and then we can get something to eat? You haven't eaten since morning!" Bokuto said looking at him eagerly. Akaashi frowned a little. Had he really not eaten anything since morning? Maybe what Bokuto-san was saying wasn't that bad an idea.

But then he remembered the first part, he was going to have to take a bath, meaning that he'd be by himself, alone with only his thoughts for company.

"Bokuto-san I..." he didn't know how to explain it. He just didn't want to be alone. Not even for a single second.

Bokuto-san was beside him in an instant. "What is it, Akaashi?" he asked earnestly.

"I...really don't want to be alone right now..." he trailed off, refusing to meet Bokuto-san's eyes.

The captain was silent for a moment before he started speaking again. "You won't be alone, Akaashi!" he said excitedly. "I'm not going anywhere! I'll be right here!"

Akaashi's eyes widened as he looked at his captain. Oh right, he realised. He hadn't left his side even for an instant. Akaashi's lips curled into a smile. "Okay" he whispered as he got up and headed to the bath. His best friend was right here with him. Even if his mind overwhelmed him, he'd be okay.

\---X---

Bokuto rummaged around Akaashi's kitchen looking for food. Maybe he could heat something up from the fridge. He found a lunchbox full of sweets, probably kept away for guests. It suddenly struck him that Akaashi hadn't finished his lunch at school. Maybe he could heat that up for him! Pleased with himself for having thought that up, Bokuto merrily hummed as he brought out the lunchbox from Akaashi's bag and heated it up in the microwave oven.

As he was setting up the bowls for them to eat out of, he heard small footsteps approaching him and looked up to see Akaashi, dressed in a t-shirt and pants, walk in timidly. His hair was still damp from the bath and he looked a little wobbly on his feet, but he looked a lot better than before. Bokuto smiled his biggest smile at him.

"Hey hey hey Akaashi! Look what I came up with while you were in the bath!" he exclaimed proudly, pointing at the two bowls of rice, and the bowl of vegetable and meat he had laid out. Akaashi nodded, unfazed as always. "That's a really good spread, Bokuto-san!" Bokuto positively beamed with pride at the praise. "Though it was mostly from the stuff in your lunchbox and a couple of things from the fridge" Bokuto continued, not meaning to boast. He was glad Akaashi looked well enough to want to talk and eat now. 

Bokuto watched as Akaashi ate his food mostly in silence, nodding along and agreeing or disagreeing to a few things Bokuto was saying. Bokuto kept the conversation light and on topic, trying not to divert too much from the topic in hand, lest Akaashi got confused. He talked about his day in school and how he had by mistake marked the answers on his book instead of on his notebook and gotten told off by the teacher as a result. Akaashi had smiled a lot at that.

Then he talked about volleyball, the new things that he wanted to try and the eating duel Kuroo had challenged him to. Bokuto noticed Akaashi starting to nod off towards the end, so he decided to get the younger boy to sleep. Hopefully he'd recover completely by the time he woke up.

"Hey, Akaashi go sleep in your bed, man."

Akaashi looked up at him through bleary eyes and nodded slowly before getting up to wash his mouth. Bokuto started putting the empty bowls and utensils away, when he noticed Akaashi waiting for him by the stairs.

"What is it?" he asked the sleepy boy.

He didn't reply, instead motioning upstairs. He remembered what Akaashi had said earlier about not wanting to be alone and realised what he was trying to say.

"Give me a moment," Bokuto replied flashing a big grin towards him. After he had finished cleaning up in the kitchen, he grabbed the yawning boy by his wrist and pulled him up towards his bedroom. Akaashi stumbled a bit on the steps, his sleep taking over him, behaving so much like a young child would that Bokuto had to stop himself from pinching his cheeks.

When he was finally tucked into bed, he looked up at Bokuto with droopy questioning eyes. Bokuto heard his small voice at the back of his head.

"I'm not going anywhere, dude. I'll be right here. Get some sleep" he said, fondly ruffling his hair.

That was not a complete truth, because he would need to get up and take a bath once Akaashi fell asleep. He was grateful for his forgetful habit of taking gym clothes to school, which was why he had five sets of clothes packed in his school bag at the beginning of the week. Today was a Wednesday, which meant that he's still have about two sets of clothes left to change into. He sighed thinking back to the events of the day. Bokuto knew he was loud, he prided himself on it, but was also aware of other people's feelings and he knew, that now was the time to just keep quiet and enjoy the silence.

His eyes fell on Akaashi's sleeping form. His face was more relaxed than Bokuto had seen him all day, his mouth slightly open and his hand was loosely holding on to Bokuto's sleeve as if afraid to let go. 

Bokuto stayed like that for about fifteen minutes before he gently freed his sleeve from Akaashi's grasp and went to go take a bath. Once he was done, he checked to see that the main entrance to the house was securely locked before climbing back up to Akaashi's room and sitting down at his desk where they'd both be in each others' lines of sight. Bokuto smiled to himself as he pulled out his homework from his bag to work on. Even the coolest of people had bad days, huh.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to talk to me or give me prompts or make a request, don't hesitate to reach out: @miracle_lover_002 on Instagram!


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